It's About Damn Time Something Good Happened
by CaptureGod-Otamegane
Summary: Kami-sama owes Naruto big-time, for giving him his wish so damn late. A man who embodies chaos. Who knows what the fates will decide for this change in destiny. Rated for descriptive language
1. Fate is a bitch

CapGod: Hey Naruto do I own you?

Naruto: Nope!

CapGod:Hey Urd you?

Urd: Not without a ring on this finger you don't.

CapGod: There you go kids, don't own.

**It's About Damn Time Something Good Happened.**

Balance, it is said in order to live happily, you need to have a balanced life, whether it's your body, work, or just social time. It's those people whose lives are balanced are the ones that prosper. But what of those forces in your life that you cannot control, what if fate decided to deal you the proverbial bad hand for your entire life. People whose fortune and misfortune that are so out of balance they can hardly live their lives, and all of there endeavors end up badly. But there is hope for them, this imbalance doesn't go unnoticed. Those who face their misfortune with fortitude, show kindness, and sympathize with others will be judged by Yggdrasil. If proven worthy, those few who are, are contacted by the Goddess Relief Office and each person Yggdrasil chooses is granted one wish which can be anything ranging from "wealth that would last a life time" to the destruction of the world, or even for simply a "Girl like you". By granting any single wish there karma balances their fortune and misfortune and they are capable of leading normal lives. And that is what we're here to do today, some unlucky soul is about to be granted a reprieve. What will he do, live through the life fate has mapped out or will he forever change the course his destiny runs.

* * *

The sky was a perfect blue, cotton candy like clouds floated by, the sun was warm, and there was a gentle breeze. It was a perfect day. And he was laying in a gigantic crater with the entire left side of his body a charred and smoking, smoldering mess. It was done, the Akatsuki were no more, there leader Uchiha Madara was now every bit dead, but he couldn't take complete credit for it though. It was all due to the man now known as Nagato formerly 'Pain'. After his defeat he had asked Naruto to take his Rin'negan to negate the mad Uchiha's Tsukuyomi, but he wouldn't be able any of it's specific justu. This victory was also due to his late sensei Jiraiya, stupid really it was just a bunch of notes on a several layered space/time seal to keep Madara from teleporting, Ero-sennin always had trick or two in reserve. The battle had been the stuff of legends, but really he spent the first half the battle dodging countless ninjustu after Madara realized that he had the Rin'negan and leaving all genjustu useless. Naruto just waiting for the opportunity to slap him with the **Fuin: Sawaru Motte Uchuu**. To say that Madara was pissed was like saying Naruto loves ramen, two of his precious eye's most powerful techniques had been neutralized.

But that didn't make him any less dangerous, more so really cause now he couldn't escape or take an easy victory, the man had more than a century's worth of experience on him. And in the ninja world the older the ninja the deadlier, age is a badge they carry that tells everyone they meet that they survived were everyone else died. The ensuing battle left scars in the earth that would probably never heal, As Naruto was forced to call upon all the of the Kyuubi's chakra just to keep up with the ancient Uchiha. That really was what he loved about Nagato's gift the most, it allowed him to draw upon the bijuu's power and remain in a human state.

Both warriors knew after a full day and night of fighting that nether would live to see nightfall. Uchiha Madara was just too good, and Uzumaki Naruto had too much raw power, but still they were on there last legs. Naruto had burnt through all of his and Kyuubi's chakra and what little he had left was need to live, Madara himself even with perfect chakra control had one maybe two jutsus left in him, but not the strength left to dodge. The battle was over all that was left was for the curtain call, so with that unstoppable determination that made him so famous to friends and feared by foes Naruto pored his whole being into both hands and charged his enemy "**Futon: Nibai Rasenshuriken!"**a wind star of death in each hand, Madara's only option for survival was to block is opponent's sure kill move "**Shield of Amaterasu!"** black flame hotter then the sun spewed out of his pupil's forming a flaming wall. Both moves hit point blank, and the force was so great that they rebounded on their users, Naruto's left arm cut to ribbons now useless and Madara's entire front was covered in many angry burns and flames he hastily put out lest they consume him. Those precious few seconds the old Uchiha took to suppress his own fire allowed Naruto to compose himself and strike with his second Rasenshuriken. As he was struck Madara's cursed eyes locked with Naruto's inherited ones and discharged a final life ending Amaterasu charring Naruto's complete left side almost to the bone. The only thing that stopped his instant death was a thin layer of red yokia preventing the spread to his right side. And that was it; no last words, or final monologue just the greatest Uchiha being blown away as he was eviscerated on a cellular level; leaving Naruto to fall back into the crater they had made.

* * *

And that's how he got to this point, "_Well this really sucks, at least I'll have a few more moments to enjoy the scenery_". He new the fox was using it's own life force to keep them alive just a little bit longer, but there was no coming back from this. He could see through the corner of his rippled eye how bad it was, and nothing short of Nagato's divine resurrection justu could fix this. So he mentally thanked the fox for a little more cloud gazing time, "_**I WILL NOT DIE NINGEN!**_" he could hear it's grunts and snorts of effort in the back of his mind the time was purely for self-preservation but he was glad just the same.

It's funny how lax he was about his own dieing, watching the clouds like one of his friend's once did. He wondered if he was finally going, because of the black spot that appeared in the center of his vision, he just continued to stare as is got bigger and bigger, "_Wha?_" no wait something was falling from the sky, "_Hey, what the hell is that?_". He found out soon enough cause it landed on his chest with a solid yet surprisingly gentle 'thud'. He couldn't believe what he was seeing, and if he didn't have the Rin'negan he wouldn't, but it was capable of breaking through any barrier and therefore seeing past any falsehood. And it told him that it was real. A scroll no bigger then one of his regular sealing scrolls, it was such a bright white it seemed to be made of pearl, such a contrast to his own darkened form. There were golden etchings and symbols in a language he didn't know but instinctively knew where powerful and holy. A small clasp holding it closed was engraved with the symbol for the 'All Seeing Eye' and underneath the kanji for 'Kami'.

Unable to comprehend but hoping with all his might from the bottom of his heart Naruto unfurled the scroll with his usable arm it and he read, "Goddess Relief Office, operator Urd will be there to grant your wish shortly?" If he could have he would have laughed, it seemed kami-sama had to get one last one in before his time ran out. A lifetime of praying, hoping, and wishing; this comes now of all times, quoting another of his long past fiends 'Fate is a bitch'. "A goddess, yea right." "_Feh, kami-sama has a wicked sense of humor doesn't he, eh fuzz but._" "_**The irony is not lost on me ningen**_" it was no use anymore they both felt the end was near they had a few minutes at best. To deep in thought and exhausted in his dieing state Naruto failed to notice what happened immediately after reading his scroll.

* * *

Urd was pissed, well more like livid. Why did she have to be the one to return to heaven the fix the damn system bugs caused by her sister's stupid boyfriend's wish, AGAIN! Really, his one stupid wish and the system that watches over everything gets bugs, viruses, crashes, has to be rebooted and whatever else. "Stupid true love, stupid sibling happiness. They better not have eaten my crackers." And where was the twerp when you needed her, this was supposed to be her job, whatever she'd get it done leave it to her flunkies and hopefully make it back in time to watch her shows.

After finally getting the system back online she was asked to stay and watch the hotline in order to give the usual girls a day off, and out of the kindness of her heart she agreed ("You BITCHES better hurry up I'm missing my shows!") to watch the lines. The dark skinned beauty plopped herself on one of the chairs and just waited for a call, Yggdrasil did most of the work all a they usually had to do was grant the wishes. Just as Urd was getting bored humming the theme song to the Kamen Riders for the hundredth time something happened, 'Beep, Beep Beep' "What the heck, an emergency call, for here?" The screen was flashing indicating an emergency call that need to be answered. "It's in THAT realm, we haven't had more that two requests outside the Human realm it ten millennia."

She had no more questions while quickly typing a few keys to accept, and as per usual a short speech was printed out for what ever she was supposed to say to the recipient. She was supposed to memorize it like Belldandy usually did, "_Why? They print it out for you._" Sure it looked a little unprofessional reading from a script, but hey she did her job. All the silver haired temptress had to do was wait for the summons that was more common in that realm then the phone calls like in Keichi's world, she waited a minute then 'poof'. "Well tha-cough, cough-was new." She wave the thick smoke out of her face then whipped out her form and got right to work. "Hello I'm here from the Goddess Help Line and my name is Urd and I'll be the goddess granting your wi-" "A goddess, yea right." "sh. Shut up and let me finish." _Humans, always interrupting._ She didn't even look up to see if he was listening, since most men stopped and drooled whenever she would show up. "Due to the main system Yggdrasil's various crashes, reboots, and memory loss your wish application has had to be resubmitted several times as well as the prerequisite criteria to be granted a wish. Huh, this is too long, yat yat yat sorry for the wait."

When she didn't get a response, the half angel/demon remembered she didn't even take a look at whoever this guy was. Peeking over her form a little embarrassed what she saw made her scream, "OH, KAMI!"

Naruto was kicked out of his mindscape by an ear piercing scream, he was wondering where the hell it came from. "What happened, oh god you look worse than Skuld's cooking!" Wasting no time Urd pulled out her 'GMC' (Goddess Mobile Caller). "Second class, limited license goddess Urd, requesting immediate pickup with emergency celestial healing. I know damn it. Just do it! I'll take full responsibility." Rushing over the scorched man to take him with her, reaching him his strange eye locked with hers _He's still conscious even with his body like this, he should be in shock._ He had the same look the Almighty One would give her and it made her shudder, like he could see to the very depths of her soul and nothing was hidden.

For Naruto the pain was finally beginning to numb, and the edges of his vision started to blur. That's when a figure appeared in his line of vision, he knew it was time. "Ah, shinigami-sama sent a tenshi for me, maybe I'll get to see Baa-chan and the others then." "NO! Hey don't die on me!" "Black and White wings…so beautiful." As his eyes began to close he didn't fight the warm energy that had enveloped him. In a brilliant flash of light, the hero of the Elemental Nations disappeared leaving behind only a legend to be told by the descendants of his surviving friends in the ages to come.

* * *

AN: Well there you go. This story came to me when a plot bunny jump kicked me in the back of the head while I was searching for some OMG/Naruto crossovers. It's a shame there are so few stories with this crossover, I really think it has tons of potential stories to be told. Here are the two justu I used.

**Seal: Interfere With Space**

**Wind Release: Double Spiral Shuriken**


	2. He looks worse then Skuld’s cooking!

**AN: Sorry, sorry, for those who waited, thank you. I've been busy with work and moving and I'm a terribly slow writer. But to make up for it I'm gonna include things from the reviews and try my best to make this enjoyable. I'm not sure how I want them to address each other, whether it's like the dub ex. "Mr. Keichi" "Almighty One" or like the manga ex. "Megumi-san" "Kami-samma" I'll try to mix it till I or the reviews decide. I'll be using Norse deity names for any OCs, just wiki them for info.**

**Demons/Summons/Ubber Power Beings Speaking "I will eat your bones!"**__

_**Demons/Summons/Ubber Power Beings Thinking "Evil laugh or evil chuckle, hm?"**_

People speak "Dattebayo bitches new Hokage here."

_People think 'Oh Naruto-kun, I've been a bad girl.'_

Jutsus/Techniques "Harem no Justu! Futon: Rasengan!

(Author's funny comments)

CapGod: Oh My Megumi-sama!

Urd: Not you 'megumi-anything' your cheating bastard.

CapGod: Hey!

Urd: No ring and you go our with that flat chested bimbo

Naruto: I am not flat chested… or a girl.

CapGod: I have nothing to do with Naruto.

Naurto: Sniffs y-you said that we were bffs.

CapGod: There you go kids, don't own.

* * *

**It's About Damn Time Something Good Happened.**

_In a brilliant flash of light, the hero of the Elemental Nations disappeared leaving behind only a legend to be told by the descendants of his surviving friends in the ages to come._

The light died down and Urd and was back in heaven with the wounded man in tow, "Hey somebody please hel-AK!". "Out of the way, out of the way!" Urd was shoved to the side as people started yelling out. "Oh, kami!" "What the!" "Damn! He looks worse then Skuld's cooking!" They were surrounded by a half a dozen healers in blue/white robes with a caduceus on the chest, most of whom seemed to be shocked.

"I want this person taken to the medical center now." There was just a stunned silence among the healers.(rookies) "COME ON, MOVE PEOPLE!". The leader who spoke was a tall man with pale skin, short golden hair and eyes, with overly elongated ears that stuck out a few inches to the side. The other healers who had froze at the sight of such a grievous injuries immediately shifted into high gear, after all a mans life was at stake.

Urd was speechless (being punted to the side does that to you), seconds after she arrived with him or who ever he was, had been quickly (through magical means) and gently moved to heaven's version of 'ER'. She couldn't have called it in more than a few minutes ago, damn that was quick. She had no idea that that they would be-well like that. "Uh… what I'm I supposed ta do now."

_'The Almighty One will know what to do.'_ "I better go report this, that is if he doesn't know already." So as the busty goddess slowly and purposely made her way to the Almighty One's chambers she was stopped by a couple of snooty looking secretaries. Seeing them she became a little uncertain if she should of just left him and toyed with the idea of sprinting back the way she came. _"Oh well, to late now."_

_

* * *

_

The room was white, it had many glowing seals and runes inscribed into the walls and floor. People were running in and out of the room trying not to choke on the sent of burnt flesh. A blue robed young woman moved glowing blue hands over the fallen hero, "Severe burn damage left side, smoke inhalation throughout lungs. What? Heavy bleeding both internal/external; multiple fractures carpals, ulnas, radius, clavicles. mid to low vertebrae, ribs 2-7 cracked!". The man her opposite running glowing green hands over the patient,

"Numerous lacerations on pectorals, biceps, triceps, trapezoids; tendons severed. Skin, nerve endings, muscle all fried left side, arteries/veins cauterized. God he's hemorrhaging throughout his right side!" Another man with white glowing hands at Naruto's temple, "Jeez is he really alive, critical dehydration, BP 49/88, HR 56, he's going into shock, we need more people!" All around them healers were chanting the highest incantations they knew or casting their strongest spells in order to fix/heal/regenerate/reverse the damage as grave as it was, whatever they could do as fast as they could do it. And more were on their way the to add their own power or relieve those who had spent themselves.

Even by there standards it should be impossible for anything to still be alive in that kind of state, and what was worse wasn't even the severity of the wounds which they could heal it was the burns that seemed to resist healing which isn't supposed to be possible. They were heaven's healers damn-it, they were supposed to be able to he anything. But ego trip aside that didn't matter, what did was did was finding a way to fix the damage and helping this man brought to them.

* * *

"_What the hell are they looking at like they know every dam thing."_ Was what Urd thought as she approached the incredibly smug pair. Sitting behind twin desks on either side of the closed doors to Kami's chamber were two women. They had mid length raven black hair the ends teased upwards. They had lean figures and midnight black robes, coal colored eyes and light smirks. "Huginn, Muninn I take it you know why I'm here." The duo shared a knowing look, "You could say a little birdie told us, about the man you brought, what do you think Muninn?" said Huginn in her floaty voice. "Doesn't he remind you of someone Huginn, what's the saying birds of a feather?" replied Muninn with her scratchy yet pleasant tone. "Well if your done sticking your fat beaks where they don't belong and being all cryptic, I have to speak with the Almighty One." To get the point across the dark skinned beauty crossed her arms under her generous bosoms and tapped her foot.

"Like a sparrow in flight," "Struck with an arrow's might."

"We guard the door," "You may not see him anymore."

"_Huh?"_

"Until you fill out this paperwork." they said together deadpanned and monotone.

One faceplant later Urd dusted her dress off and snatched the forms while grumbling ("This is why I hate them, I hope they get avian flu.") to herself. _"Stupid forms, a curse on the one who created paperwork!"_ It was a huge stack of forms, she had to write a report about what had happened when she left and an update on Yggdrasil and sign a bunch of things and all that other useless crap .

It would take forever and by the time she got it all done she'd have to go back the earth. Sneaky little trollops probably planned it that way so she couldn't see Kami-sama. Oh well her job was done and what ever happened had nothing to do with her anymore. So back to earth with her sisters and Keichi.

* * *

**SMACK!** _"What's going on out there. Hm I wonder?"_ The almighty one silently mussed as his chief healer hurriedly approached him. "Eir what news do you bring about the one my daughter brought back." The man that had first appeared before the pair when they arrived stood before his lord, splotches of blood on his sleeves and front, sweat poured off his brow and his hair was disheveled. He was obviously exhausted from the healing procedure but made the effort to appear collected.

"He seems to be in a stable enough condition sir, but that seems the best we can do. He _will_ die soon if something isn't done, except we've tried it all." That was not good news this man should not be dieing, but there may be a way to save him. But he wasn't gonna like it. _"Damn my good morals."_ "Was there any this else?" Eir hesitated not knowing if the bit he held back was anything important, _"eh what the hell, why not?"_

"Yes, something that was odd no one seemed to take notice of some kind of seal on his abdomen that would burn red on and off probably thinking it was just another healing spell, the others didn't detect how it would draw on the healing energy when it blazed then die down when it stopped." "Very well, bring him to me." Eir just nodded in understanding and swiftly left the kami's presence.

**There will be more to this chapter as soon as I'm done writing it. Questions will get answered, but I just thought I'd post this to tie you guys over.**


End file.
